I Can’t Believe….

I can’t believe you called me a low life cunt
I can’t believe you said you are in love with her
I can’t believe you kept yourself healthy and good looking for her
I can’t believe she was the one you called to say you were ok
I can’t believe you were cumming in her
I can’t believe you were planning a family with her
I can’t believe that you tried to involve me ….
How demented
I can’t believe you made a mockery of my need for honesty
I can’t believe you live another life
I can’t believe you been lying to me for so many yrs
I can’t believe I believed every word you said
I can’t believe I feel this pain as much as I feel the pain of death
I can’t believe you never truely respected me
I can’t believe you blame me for your disgusting betrayal
I can’t believe how stupid you think I am
I can’t believe I didn’t pay attention to the signs in the begining
i can’t believe I truely thought you were all and only about me
I can’t believe I believed you were going to work
I can’t believe you try to make me become friends with the women you fuck
I can’t believe you expect me to brush it all off like its just dust
I can’t believe I cry about this everyday cause my heart hurts so fucking much
I can’t believe that I can’t heal faster

This has taken over me …. I’m tired ….. I don’t want to feel this way anymore ….

I really had to get this out…. I don’t get to talk about this and sometimes i just need to let it out or it will eat me up till you die….

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HHHMMMM….

Today has been an odd day for me…
Emotionally, mentally & spiritually…
My light bulbs are switching on….
My heart is extra understanding….
My soul is wiser….
It’s reality that’s making me a fighter….
I’m surviving every crazy hill….
This past year has been the rollercoaster I’ve most feared….
I’m still on it…
but I’m finding my way off it….
I’m not gonna scream and cry anymore…..
I’m just gonna lift my hands and go with the flow….
And once I get off this ride I won’t look back….
Ima keep walking foward…..
Don’t follow …
I’m in this alone
And if its meant to be ….
ill see evereyone again in a better dream…

My Heart

I Feel…
Hurt – the pain I endure inside is absolutely unbareable most times….
Angry – hating how I’ve left myself so vulnerable…
Confused – still wondering WHY has got mind running circles….
Smarter – cause all this Hurt, Anger & Confusion is teaching me the right way to be
Secure – I know I’m beautiful inside and out and I don’t need anyone else to Love Me but ME….
Happy – I know all is not perfect but I’m still alive and I Love It!
In Love – I love myself more than anything in the world…
Proud – cause I’ve survived a whole lot of shit in my 33yrs and I’m still here Smarter, Happier & In Love With ME

“Had some feelings I needed to let out…
Hope you like it”
         ツツツツツツツツ